5) PIRANHA

Director: Alexandre Aja
Stars: Steven R. McQueen, Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O'Connell, Jessica Szohr, Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames, Adam Scott, Ricardo Chavira, Dina Meyer, Richard Dreyfuss
Year: 2010
Rating: R

Director Alexandre Aja has said, with Piranha (or Piranha 3D, as it was also known in theaters), that he wanted to invoke the era of big, bad monster/horror movies that permeated the 1980's. On that level, Piranha succeeds grandly - but even overall, the film is a fun, bloody, boob-heavy ride that is at times funny, gory, and sexually risque. Throw in a lake full of razor-toothed prehistoric man(and woman)-eating fish, and who could ask for more?

Set in the fictional city of Lake Victoria, Arizona, Piranha opens with the beginning of spring break, and Lake Victoria being overrun with horny college kids out for a good time. Trying to rein in all the insanity is Sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue, playing things just seriously enough to be truly entertaining here), a no-nonsense single mom of three kids, whose oldest son Jake (Steven R. McQueen, of "The Vampire Diaries" fame) seems doomed to spend most of his week babysitting his younger siblings, as opposed to joining in on the fun ... something that truly makes Jake unhappy as it means he also has no chance of spending any time with the beautiful girl he's crushing on, Kelly (Jessica Szohr), who he pines for even though she's dating one of the big-mouthed jocks at school.

Things change, however, when a chance meeting puts Jake in touch with the hyperactive Derrick Jones (Jerry O'Connell, who is wonderfully insane here), a "Girls Gone Wild"-style producer of softcore girl (or girl-on-girl) porn who has come to the lakeside town to shoot some footage of hot college chicks. Hiring a reluctant Jake as a local guide to the best spots on the lake to shoot, Derrick promises the young man both fun and naked women - and ensures Jake's cooperation when he also enlists Kelly on-board his boat for the ride, hoping to get some hot footage of HER on film ... something Jake is determined to not let happen.

But while all this is going on above the water's surface, below it an underground tremor has cracked open a rift in the lake bed, setting free a huge school of prehistoric piranha now able to get to the warmer waters of Lake Victoria. Ugly-ass, nasty, extremely hungry piranha, and a hell of a lot of them - all set free just in time to enjoy the young, tasty, all-you-can-eat human buffet lining up on the surface to feed them.

Okay, so the plot is thinner than rice paper. Sometimes the acting is so-so; even over the top. Occasionally even the special effects get a tiny bit cheesy (although this, more than ever, invokes the 1980's period of such films). And if you have a problem with blood and gore, or naked women, this might not be the film for you.

But otherwise, Piranha is simply a whole lot of FUN. It fully lives up to its trailer, commercials, and all the advertising, pretending to be nothing more than what it is - bloody entertaining (literally). From Richard Dreyfuss' cameo in the opening scene, you know you are in for some genuine craziness here, and the film never lets you down from then on. It won't win any awards for acting, writing, or direction, but Piranha is a sweet little monster movie with (dare I say it) a whole lotta bite. Definitely worth catching for those who like this kind of thing; others would probably find it too gruesome or corny ... but hey, the world needs wimps, too! ***1/2 - Reel Cool-Reel Awesome